The Job Market...

Hey. Let's be frank: the job market is tough. I mean, have you seen “Shark Tank”? Those guys (and lady) are vicious!

I enjoy leftovers... :(

The dating pool is full of hammerheads and great whites/blacks/Hispanics/you get it... are you willing to dive in and take that chance?

Hollahollaholla.

The true difficulty of putting yourself out there: REJECTION. No one enjoys rejection… most people do not enjoy rejection. Rejection becomes a personal hit upon your being!

Why he don’t like me? She thinks I’m ugly? I’m not interesting/popular/fill-in-the-blank enough for them. 

It’s tough! I know this feeling, unfortunately, quite well. It eats at you sometimes – makes you feel like less of a person. You nag yourself and your flaws and struggle to figure out what will fix that little wrinkle under your eye or the widow’s peak hairline you were born with or the chipped front teeth that prevent you from truly smiling. I was a mess. I can be sure that others have felt that way, as well – maybe you, the reader have also. Maybe you know someone who has. Maybe you know someone who has never shaken that feeling of rejection… and they carry it everywhere they go.

What do you do to fix this? Here are some suggestions – I’m certainly no expert, but you would be surprised how far a little push can get you.

Yeah... I helped. Not really.

1. Change your approach. From candor I have had with friends/colleagues, the way one approaches a potential love interest and the way one approaches a friend head in two completely and drastically different directions. Yet, it has also been said that a significant other should be comparable to a good/best friend. Get to know the person you are interested in, in a friendlier manner. Of course, beware the Friend Zone (future post) – make your intention clear – but do not ignore that which makes a person interesting/unique/friendly. People will date others that they would NEVER choose to interact with outside of that facet… “and then God made divorce”. Ick.
2. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. It has been said many times before, in many facets – but it works out quite well. I do not suggest carry rejection with you on your back, as you interact with another, but do know that not all things end amicably. That guy you like – as pretty as that mo’fo might be – may open his mouth and all types of bullshit come out. Ol’ girl that you spoke to online might “Catfish” the shit outta you upon your blind date arrival. Even situations with established dating may not go well because of a hidden quirk or a quip that just cannot be amended. Things may work out – don’t give up easily, but:
3. Do not force the issue. A good friend of mine reminded me “don’t fall in love with potential”. Unless you want that relationship where “the sex is good, but the conversation is drab” or “they look great, but can’t complete a sentence” or “as interesting a person they are, I cannot get past this”. The gold may be at the end of that rainbow – but a rainbow does not actually have an end… how far are you willing to subject yourself to an unseen end? “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
4. Keep an open mind. When someone approaches you, your mind makes a million decisions within the minute. He’s cute. Outfit not that great. Look at his shoes! His hair is shaped up, though. Maybe it’s an off day. Nice smile. What’s that on his forehead? Gross. I like ‘em tall – he’s my height – eh. And that’s before he even says hello; imagine what you’re saying to yourself as he speaks. Guys do the same thing with the ladies – depending on their intention, conversation may not go too far or become too in depth. The point: you never know what will come out of those initial interactions. I have found great friends in “failed relationship attempts”. People are more than rings and flings.

There are a few of my suggestions. Biggest thing: every experience is unique – new and different from the last, until established. Put yourself out there and you never know what may come of it.

Besides – Cuffin’ Season is in full swing. If you don’t have that beau/belle/bae/bitty to lie up with – maybe you need to get those feet wet.