The Holi-daze

Let's be frank: the holidays get to us, regardless of if we celebrate them, what we do during them or how extravagant it gets. Why? Simple. We want to have someone to share the joys with.

And then God made Cuffin' Season.

Cuffin' Season. I like to call it the "Holidaze". That lovely period of months that has us feeling warm and fuzzy about the idea of being with someone special. Whether that means taking this person to Turkey Day dinner, spending New Year's Eve watching the ball drop or cozying up while the weather outside is frightful.

By this point, you either 1) already have your cuffs on, b) "don't believe in the hijinks", iii) are already in an established relationship or four) never planned on being anything more than single. Regardless of your current "status", your holidays are affected one way or another. Your boy ain't available to play 2K13 because he's boo-lovin'. Your girl wants to come out, but has her phone attached to her left hand. Those gatherings you find yourself a part of happen to include a LOT of "+1"s. There's good news to this:

• Your friends are happy content with their situation.
• No Not much more bitching about being single.
• These new +1's can introduce you to their friends.
• PLENTY of funny "Cuffing Season" statuses and videos!

I know the last one is what I particularly take heed in. Here's a few from my favorite, PleaseDontStare.com: Internet Celebrities - Cuffing Season and the Cuffing Season Mixtape! Let us not forget Cuffing Season - PATisDOPE Style.

"The Resume" appreciates "Cuffin' Season"... in moderation. Don't put too much investment - physical, emotional, financial - into a situation that you cannot see going past a temp job. Unless you have the conversation that provides a temp-to-hire possibility: be prepared to seek greener pastures. Just because he kisses you at midnight...

Don't get caught up in the daze... wake up in 2013.

Read more ►

Parts of "The Resume"

We are days away from the start of a new year. You know what that means...

New Year's Resolutions.

Yeah. We know. You'll be in the gym, you'll cut off all those fairweather friends, you'll commit to learning something profound or going to an extravagant place... nothing wrong with that. Do what you're supposed to do and I'll celebrate you later.

Calvin knows how to go about it.

Everyone wants to change, get better, etc. Hell, even I have a resolution or two. One of mine, you ask? Well, of course: to better update "The Resume"! You had to see that coming.

If you remember from the post "What IS a Resume?", there are many reasons why they can be used, different skill sets they can portray and prime objectives sought after - but one thing always remains the same: what is IN a Resume. We at "The Resume" are no different. Check the checklist. Note: not ALL of the following is necessary for a solid resume:

• Objective
• Qualification summary
• Education / Training
• Experience
• Awards / Honors
• Skills
• Memberships / Affiliations

Certainly, parts of this list exist in your resumes currently - I would assume Education, Experience & Skills, at least. Some may have no awards or honors relevant to the position they apply for. Others may find no need to have a summary of qualifications because - let's be frank - you don't have any. Memberships and affiliations? Uh... no?

Good news: so long as you have what the employer is looking for, they will at least give you a glance! Bad news: if you go throwing around, aimlessly, a resume... be prepared for rejection notices.

Starting in 2013, we at "The Resume" will go over every piece of that resume that you need to polish up on, tweak a word or revise over. With a little help from you, we'll be sure to know exactly what you need to work on, get rid of, add to, etc.

You can hold us to ours, though. Happy New Year and may all your resolutions be bright. Wrong song. May all your resolutions be forgot. No, that doesn't sound good, either. May all your resolutions... be resolved. Let's go with that.

Read more ►

The Job Market...

Hey. Let's be frank: the job market is tough. I mean, have you seen “Shark Tank”? Those guys (and lady) are vicious!

I enjoy leftovers... :(

The dating pool is full of hammerheads and great whites/blacks/Hispanics/you get it... are you willing to dive in and take that chance?

Hollahollaholla.

The true difficulty of putting yourself out there: REJECTION. No one enjoys rejection… most people do not enjoy rejection. Rejection becomes a personal hit upon your being!

Why he don’t like me? She thinks I’m ugly? I’m not interesting/popular/fill-in-the-blank enough for them. 

It’s tough! I know this feeling, unfortunately, quite well. It eats at you sometimes – makes you feel like less of a person. You nag yourself and your flaws and struggle to figure out what will fix that little wrinkle under your eye or the widow’s peak hairline you were born with or the chipped front teeth that prevent you from truly smiling. I was a mess. I can be sure that others have felt that way, as well – maybe you, the reader have also. Maybe you know someone who has. Maybe you know someone who has never shaken that feeling of rejection… and they carry it everywhere they go.

What do you do to fix this? Here are some suggestions – I’m certainly no expert, but you would be surprised how far a little push can get you.

Yeah... I helped. Not really.

1. Change your approach. From candor I have had with friends/colleagues, the way one approaches a potential love interest and the way one approaches a friend head in two completely and drastically different directions. Yet, it has also been said that a significant other should be comparable to a good/best friend. Get to know the person you are interested in, in a friendlier manner. Of course, beware the Friend Zone (future post) – make your intention clear – but do not ignore that which makes a person interesting/unique/friendly. People will date others that they would NEVER choose to interact with outside of that facet… “and then God made divorce”. Ick.
2. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. It has been said many times before, in many facets – but it works out quite well. I do not suggest carry rejection with you on your back, as you interact with another, but do know that not all things end amicably. That guy you like – as pretty as that mo’fo might be – may open his mouth and all types of bullshit come out. Ol’ girl that you spoke to online might “Catfish” the shit outta you upon your blind date arrival. Even situations with established dating may not go well because of a hidden quirk or a quip that just cannot be amended. Things may work out – don’t give up easily, but:
3. Do not force the issue. A good friend of mine reminded me “don’t fall in love with potential”. Unless you want that relationship where “the sex is good, but the conversation is drab” or “they look great, but can’t complete a sentence” or “as interesting a person they are, I cannot get past this”. The gold may be at the end of that rainbow – but a rainbow does not actually have an end… how far are you willing to subject yourself to an unseen end? “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
4. Keep an open mind. When someone approaches you, your mind makes a million decisions within the minute. He’s cute. Outfit not that great. Look at his shoes! His hair is shaped up, though. Maybe it’s an off day. Nice smile. What’s that on his forehead? Gross. I like ‘em tall – he’s my height – eh. And that’s before he even says hello; imagine what you’re saying to yourself as he speaks. Guys do the same thing with the ladies – depending on their intention, conversation may not go too far or become too in depth. The point: you never know what will come out of those initial interactions. I have found great friends in “failed relationship attempts”. People are more than rings and flings.

There are a few of my suggestions. Biggest thing: every experience is unique – new and different from the last, until established. Put yourself out there and you never know what may come of it.

Besides – Cuffin’ Season is in full swing. If you don’t have that beau/belle/bae/bitty to lie up with – maybe you need to get those feet wet.

Read more ►

"Diary of the Uncuffable" #1

Because I have some legit amazing friends and colleagues, I have received some crazy support for "The Resume", despite my sporadic writing nature. I appreciate it, wholly.

One of those supporters decided to give me the real life truth behind our favorite time of the year: Cuffin' Season. Today begins a series entitled (by our author): "Diary of the Uncuffable". Now, I don't believe this to be true for her, but hey... gotta catch their eye somehow.

Check out the story below - keep up with her and post your thoughts, reactions, suggestions below. Will she stay "uncuffable"? Let's find out.

"Closed mouths don't get fed." - A real nigga

7:12 am . Blue line metro

I descended the escalator while Bootsy Collins filled the empty space between my eyes. I rather be with you...yea. The melody woke me up from the ins and outs of sleep that I am accustomed to. Finishing a good morning text and a volume increase, I placed the Nexus in my pocket and glanced ahead of me. Just like the first page of a fairy tale, tailored pants and brown shoes, you stood there taking in the scenery. Which worked out for me, because I was taking in you. I studied your stature. Noticed that you were an inch shorter than me but still fine. Got damn. I decided to do what I know how to do best, observe. I moved to a inconspicuous spot out of your line of sight. Standing behind you, I watched you, how you moved, how you behaved. What your body language said to me. As the lights flashed from the metro's arrival I walked behind you to board the train. You must have felt my presence, because you stood to the side, extended your hand with a slight bow, and let me walk before you. Chivalry, check. I said thank you. My back was to you but I bit my lip. A man once previously unseen had affected me. I'm slipping. As I sat on the train , four rows away from you, I went back and forth from catching your gaze to staring at you unknowingly. You are a stranger who I want to become familiar with. I yearned for your familiarity.
Before I knew it, I had arrived at L’Enfant plaza metro. I got up to exit the train, but not before I took in one last look of you. Our eyes locked. But, like the punk that I am, I looked away quickly and exited. I would probably never see you again. Shit.

They say that we miss every opportunity that we don't take. What was interesting, is that I have been presented with so many more opportunities to say something. To speak, to ask for his number. He has parked next to me on numerous occasions. We often end up on the same train in the evening, walking in the same direction to our cars. I have said things to him in passing, and then when it comes down to it, I hop in my car and drive away. Each time, I kick myself for missing the opportunity. You could probably call me Liu Kang with how many kicks I'm passing out to myself from the chances I blew with him. Fatality
After being pumped up (and cussed out) by my friends, this past week I decided that I would finally go up to him and ask him for his number. It seemed like the stars would align just to put me in situations in which I was in close enough proximity to talk to him. Was God telling me something? Was the universe giving me a message?
Or was this some kind of cruel joke? The one week I decided I would say something to him if I was put in one of these “interesting” positions again, I DON'T SEE HIM ONCE. NOT ONE TIME! ONE! UNO! ICHI! UN!

W.
T.
F.

-___- . Well, there is always Monday.

- Latte

Read more ►

Cuffin' Season - PATisDOPE Style

FIRST of all: apologies for the long... and I mean LONG drought of posts. See, what had happened was: 
Yeah, nothing happened. Well, something happened - that's for a future post, though. I do promise that these next few weeks and the future of "The Resume" will be forthcoming and delightful!

Alas, time for the important stuff.


I know a guy. His name Pat. I been told he's dope. Fortunately, I have been able to take note of what he does and his dope has been documented by many. He consolidates said dope at PATisDOPE dot com. Most of his dope consists of reviews, previews, interviews... and page views. I ain't mad.

So the man Pat has put together a video on one of my favorite subjects: Cuffin' Season. I have not spoken much on it b/c:

1. This "grad school" stuff surprisingly difficult.
2. I have not too much experience at the season of the cuff.
3. Belief exists that there is no better way to examine the season than through the eyes of others.

All that said, I present to you: PATisDOPE Presents: Cuffin' Season Vol. 2. His [hilarious, if you ask me] take on the concept and... yeah. You just gotta watch it.

If you are wondering, he's done this before. Take a gander.

What's your take on the idea of "Cuffin' Season"? Tell us below. I look forward to sharing other sentiments regarding the season from the eyes of guest bloggers throughout December.

Read more ►

Realizing Your Resume

So. You've read some posts. Voted on a poll or two. Heck, you may have even commented on some of the writing. I applaud your efforts and appreciate your following/clicking/referring. Last post, I made note of how some individuals feel that a relationship IS work. Now I want to talk about if "The Resume" can work to make finding a relationship feel... less so.

Did you write your "resume"? If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here to [re]acquaint yourself. If you did write that resume, let us figure out its feasibility.

What do you want out of a relationship? Options range from marriage to a one-night-stand. Friends with benefits, long term relationships, you name it - you can plan for it. No two Resumes are made alike.

Talking to a family member about his woes with women. He was mad at himself for not going smack at some female classmates. I said "well, what is it you want?" - he tells me "just to smash 'em" - after some details are shared, it comes to light that he was presenting himself with a relationship demeanor when, in actuality, he just wants some relations. He was not prepared to "test the job market". I talked to him some more and he feels he has himself figured out.

What's that? What's "testing the job market"? Glad you asked.

Go find your skivvies and jump into the deep end!

When a prospective employee wants to find ideal work, they clean up nice, break out the fancy paper and go out job hunting! Well, while the unemployment rate is only 8.1%, as of the end of 2011, the marriage rate in the US is only 51% (thanks, HP). That said, what's the likelihood that you will find a single man/woman to engage - it's LITERALLY 1 out of 2. Even still, what's to say the person you run into is ready for some "heavy stuff"? Plan accordingly. Here are some ideas:

1. Do NOT be scared to fail. As I have heard said, and like to say myself, "the worst that can happen is they say 'no'." With such underlying fear of failure, many cease to realize that the world does not end with rejection. I know from experience.
2. Value your successes! You might not have found "the one" yet, but who knows what experiences you may have with that someone you have now engaged in conversation, etc. It has been said "to catch more fish, cast a wider net" - don't throw all of the small catches back in the water. Speaking of -
3. Compromise is not a bad thing. That catch might have gotten away, but maybe this guy has a hidden talent you're fond of. That girl whose number you just got may make your favorite meal like a 5-star chef - on her off day. Let them rock in your phone for a minute.
4. Keep things in perspective. A one-nighter might be a good friend-with-benefits - but do remember: you can't turn a hoe into a housewife/househusband. Don't force matters. If it works out, it works out - if it doesn't, see #1 on this list.
5. Stay well! Don't settle on the wine-o because you need someone to go places with. Condoning a verbally abusive someone because they throw down in the bed probably won't work out for you. Your well-being is paramount when dealing with the wild blue.

There are plenty more things that you can add to the list (and I encourage you to do in the comments). Also, check out the lovely lady who helped me throw some of the things on the list, Rayven! If you need some help grabbing this stuff by the balls, she'll give you the cahones.

"The Resume". Brought you by our friends at Sesame Street. And the number 12.

Read more ►

What's the Point?

So, as I have passed my blog link around all willy nilly, I have gotten a pretty good revue from all who read – and criticism that applies more to sites I’m looking for a job on than my actual blog. Thanks to those who actually looked at what I wrote. Y’all are awesome. While I was sharing, I was working on my own relationship status and the like – and two different ladies of interest I spoke with said this same quote:

“I don’t want to be in a relationship right now; my past relationships were so much work.”

First, I laughed. Yeah, I’m rude. Sorry. Then I asked why they equated relationships with work. With the direct correlation to my current focus, why not delve into it. That leads to the meat of this post: what are you expecting from “The Resume”?

“The Resume” is but a tool to use for suggestions as to what to do in certain situations, how to handle certain scenarios, why people act certain ways, etc etc. I encourage you to take what we say and do here and ponder how you may be able to apply it to your own life. 

Write yourself an actual resume of your relationship past. You would be surprised how motivating it is – whether to show yourself you CAN do better than that one guy or to prove that you ARE worth that woman’s attention… or just contemplate what your ideal significant other could be like and how your resume would intertwine. Sure, you can work with sites like OK Cupid, eHarmony, Match.com and the like…

Or you can make a free relationship profile and test it out without keyboards between you. Try out the free sites – they take away all the guess work – but you’ll be surprised how easy it would be for you to DIY (Do It Yourself).

Actually... that IS a good point.

 

The good news about this all: my word is not the gospel. Thankfully, there are MANY other people who know some things about relationships and they will be SO kind as to grace us with their wit, knowledge and humor. If you are interested in being a guest blogger (or know someone/someplace I should look for one), please let me know!

 

Together, we can... something something something.

Read more ►

Relationship vs. Employment

As you may know - probably because I told you to - I have restarted this lovely blog here called "The Resume". If you still do NOT know why you are here - click here and learn what "The Resume" is. We at "The Resume" must stress that though we may have some insightful things to say about relationships, employment and the two collectively, we only know but so much; without the support and challenges posed by you as a reader, how can we grow as people and, essentially, as a blog? It is definitely important to learn from each other as we look to expand our knowledge.

A good friend of mine, Nick of TheJettsons posed this question to me today:

"Ok, personal question: what do you think comes first and is one greater than the other?"

If you don't know Nick, you need to meet him (pick his brain here) - this dude can make you think about the unthinkable. I'm sure people have considered these things before, but still. Which comes first: a good relationship or a good career? Is a good career and no relationship better than no career and a good relationship?

My take on it all... it's all relative. Some people are so career-oriented, they shirk all the relationships they once had and don't look to find any that don't begin with the word "business". Some of the biggest and best have done it all by themselves - then looked to find someone who is "in it for the money, err, love of the person". Others cannot live without love - constantly making sure those around them are taken care of, smother their family and significant other with all of their heart. So what if they work as a minimum wage junkie, bouncing from place to place - making sure their every penny of that $7.25 (in Maryland) is in their pocket. Right?


Whether you're a lifer in a career or a lifer in a relationship, you have to find your own balance and make sure it is comfortable for you. Don't mope around about how you hate your dead-end job; climb that employment ladder! Complaining about how you can't find "the one" won't make that person fall in your lap; better yourself and go get him/her!

As far as relationships and employment go: Find that one which you love to do. 

Only you can prevent forest fires decide what is good for/to you.

Which would you prefer?

Thoughts?

Read more ►

Been a Long Time... We Shouldn't Have Left You.

We messed up. Technically, I messed up.

J's Resume was accepted soon after the beginning of this blog and he has since been gainfully employed by a B.A. without his B.A.

My Resume, you might ask? It's been getting... revamped. A lot has gone on in the last 18 months. Cover letters drafted. Resumes handed out. Oh, and lest I forget: my actual job. I thought keeping up with this blog would be simple enough. I was wrong. I would say I'm sorry, but a good friend taught me:

"You're not sorry. You'll never be sorry. Remember that."

I DO apologize for the lack of content - yes, SEVERE lack of content. Good news, though, is that I have a new found zest for writing (my Bachelors degree in English is singing at the thought) and more free time to expand and expound on this truly amazing concept of "The Resume".

All apologies aside (assonance): how about you realize why this blog even exists. If you were already witty enough to figure it out,

I encourage you - implore some - follow along. "The Resume" may teach you something.

P.S. Vote on that poll to the right. Yeah. That one. Over there --->

Read more ►