Right or Right Now...?

So you know that you want work. You’re tired of sitting on the couch and reading up on Facebook and Twitter about how awesome someone’s new gig is going or how another person could not be happier than they are in their current position… you want some of that! All these Instagrams and statuses – those will be YOUR photos and words soon, right? Right!

One issue there…

Which one do you want...?

You mad because it’s Cuffin’ Season and everybody except you got a boo? Or do you REALLY want to get into a relationship? Let’s weigh the pros and cons of the different types of relationships out there.

Temp work – aka “Cuffin’ Season”

Maybe you need a one-nighter or something to tide you over until you get that mindset out of your head. Need someone to occupy you until you move on – literally or otherwise – or you’re not entirely prepared to get into a big time gig. Temp work may be for you. There are plenty of temp agencies (dating sites, singles’ nights, etc) out there – but watch out for those! As many temp jobs you may find – there are plenty of men and women looking for temp-to-hire… aka to cuff you in the long run. 

• The pros: you can come and go as you please. No strings, if you will. Try it out without major investment. 
• The cons: temp-to-hire’s happen more often than not – be weary of your own investment in the situation. If you can spin it into a longer-term gig, go for it – but if it’s just a fling or for the season, don’t push it.

Part time – aka Short-term dating

You’ve been out the game for a while. You want to get your feet wet again. Or maybe you don’t have the experience you feel you need to be truly effective in the ideal situation. Don’t want to feel used like a temp, but can’t imagine putting a ring on it at this point in life? Part time – aka short-term dating – is right up your alley. While most will say “I would not get into a relationship with a person unless I see myself with them for a long time”, how many of those relationships actually lead to long-term commitment? Go into things with an open mind and a half-full cup. Your glass may runneth over with the right combination… or someone may “have a glass of water with [their] thirsty ass” (shout out Wale). 

• The pros: get reacquainted with the idea of commitment. Learn what really works for you and what doesn’t in a relationship. Get your resume tweaked. 
• The cons: there may be a feeling of limbo – deciding whether to “be content” and turn the gig into a full timer or to test the market and see what better things may be out there. Also, your partner may be doing the same thing. Again, there’s no ring on it… so be ready for open competition.

Full time – aka Long-term dating

Nope! Done are you with these high-risk low-reward gigs. You’re at the point in your life where you need not search any longer; the next one will be THE ONE. Or you’re not comfortable with bouncing around from person to person or situation to situation… you’re flexible and feel, with the right individual, the two of you can grow and flourish. Why not? The full time aspirations are in full effect. “Long as you have your suit and tie” (I see you, JT), you should garner the attention of people prepared to put their property proper feet forward! Scan all those resumes, have those interviews – it may take a while but, with due diligence, the “rest of your life”r will come to fruition! 

• The pros: once you find one, you should have nothing to worry about! No more shopping around or complaining about where he/she is – you have them; now everyone wants to be like you. 
• The cons: you have to realize that there is no more comparison, no more open position, none of that. Work with that partner of yours to make it work. Full time acknowledges that you probably cannot let up off the gas. Divorce rates are high. Don’t add to them.

“The Resume” does not confirm nor deny the successes or failures of said advice. If it DOES work, though… be sure to slide us some credit.

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What's Your Objective?

Objective. Noun. "Something worked toward or striven for; a goal." (Thanks, Free Dictionary.)

What is your purpose? What do you want? Why are you here?

What’s your contribution to life. – Jurassic 5

We’re not going to get that deep with this one; there is a point to all resumes – including “The Resume” – we call those reasons “objectives”. When you roll up on that girl at the bar, what is your end game? When you leave that guy a note on his desk, where do you perceive it going? Are you aiming for someone to talk to for the night or someone to take home to mom and/or dad? New person to communicate with or new person to copulate with? Whether or not you realize it, all the things you do in life have objectives!

An example of a job objective (as noted on About.com) would be:

• Obtain a position at XYZ Company where I can maximize my management skills, quality assurance, program development, and training experience.
• Customer service management where my experience can be utilized to improve customer satisfaction.
• Management position where I can effectively utilize my expertise in human relations, project management, and staff recruitment and retention.
• Marketing position that utilizes my writing skills and enables me to make a positive contribution to the organization.
• To secure a position with a well established organization with a stable environment that will lead to a lasting relationship in the field of finance.
• To obtain a position that will enable me to use my strong organizational skills, educational background, and ability to work well with people.

Now, examples of relationship objectives (as collected from actual OKCupid.com profiles) include:

• Guys and girls who like bi girls
• Ages 22–40
• Near me
• Who are single
• For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
  
  
• Everybody
• Ages 23–30
• Near me
• For new friends, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals
  
  
• Straight guys only
• Ages 23–28
• Near me
• Who are single
• For long-term dating, short-term dating

They're not exactly synonymous – but the point is there are specific things people look for, regardless of how “open” they are to find a new situation. 

Be honest about your objectives. As specific as you may get, be optimistic about them also. There are pros and cons to how you approach all situations – be ready to roll with the punches. 

Don’t get Pacquiao’d.

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The Holi-daze

Let's be frank: the holidays get to us, regardless of if we celebrate them, what we do during them or how extravagant it gets. Why? Simple. We want to have someone to share the joys with.

And then God made Cuffin' Season.

Cuffin' Season. I like to call it the "Holidaze". That lovely period of months that has us feeling warm and fuzzy about the idea of being with someone special. Whether that means taking this person to Turkey Day dinner, spending New Year's Eve watching the ball drop or cozying up while the weather outside is frightful.

By this point, you either 1) already have your cuffs on, b) "don't believe in the hijinks", iii) are already in an established relationship or four) never planned on being anything more than single. Regardless of your current "status", your holidays are affected one way or another. Your boy ain't available to play 2K13 because he's boo-lovin'. Your girl wants to come out, but has her phone attached to her left hand. Those gatherings you find yourself a part of happen to include a LOT of "+1"s. There's good news to this:

• Your friends are happy content with their situation.
• No Not much more bitching about being single.
• These new +1's can introduce you to their friends.
• PLENTY of funny "Cuffing Season" statuses and videos!

I know the last one is what I particularly take heed in. Here's a few from my favorite, PleaseDontStare.com: Internet Celebrities - Cuffing Season and the Cuffing Season Mixtape! Let us not forget Cuffing Season - PATisDOPE Style.

"The Resume" appreciates "Cuffin' Season"... in moderation. Don't put too much investment - physical, emotional, financial - into a situation that you cannot see going past a temp job. Unless you have the conversation that provides a temp-to-hire possibility: be prepared to seek greener pastures. Just because he kisses you at midnight...

Don't get caught up in the daze... wake up in 2013.

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Parts of "The Resume"

We are days away from the start of a new year. You know what that means...

New Year's Resolutions.

Yeah. We know. You'll be in the gym, you'll cut off all those fairweather friends, you'll commit to learning something profound or going to an extravagant place... nothing wrong with that. Do what you're supposed to do and I'll celebrate you later.

Calvin knows how to go about it.

Everyone wants to change, get better, etc. Hell, even I have a resolution or two. One of mine, you ask? Well, of course: to better update "The Resume"! You had to see that coming.

If you remember from the post "What IS a Resume?", there are many reasons why they can be used, different skill sets they can portray and prime objectives sought after - but one thing always remains the same: what is IN a Resume. We at "The Resume" are no different. Check the checklist. Note: not ALL of the following is necessary for a solid resume:

• Objective
• Qualification summary
• Education / Training
• Experience
• Awards / Honors
• Skills
• Memberships / Affiliations

Certainly, parts of this list exist in your resumes currently - I would assume Education, Experience & Skills, at least. Some may have no awards or honors relevant to the position they apply for. Others may find no need to have a summary of qualifications because - let's be frank - you don't have any. Memberships and affiliations? Uh... no?

Good news: so long as you have what the employer is looking for, they will at least give you a glance! Bad news: if you go throwing around, aimlessly, a resume... be prepared for rejection notices.

Starting in 2013, we at "The Resume" will go over every piece of that resume that you need to polish up on, tweak a word or revise over. With a little help from you, we'll be sure to know exactly what you need to work on, get rid of, add to, etc.

You can hold us to ours, though. Happy New Year and may all your resolutions be bright. Wrong song. May all your resolutions be forgot. No, that doesn't sound good, either. May all your resolutions... be resolved. Let's go with that.

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The Job Market...

Hey. Let's be frank: the job market is tough. I mean, have you seen “Shark Tank”? Those guys (and lady) are vicious!

I enjoy leftovers... :(

The dating pool is full of hammerheads and great whites/blacks/Hispanics/you get it... are you willing to dive in and take that chance?

Hollahollaholla.

The true difficulty of putting yourself out there: REJECTION. No one enjoys rejection… most people do not enjoy rejection. Rejection becomes a personal hit upon your being!

Why he don’t like me? She thinks I’m ugly? I’m not interesting/popular/fill-in-the-blank enough for them. 

It’s tough! I know this feeling, unfortunately, quite well. It eats at you sometimes – makes you feel like less of a person. You nag yourself and your flaws and struggle to figure out what will fix that little wrinkle under your eye or the widow’s peak hairline you were born with or the chipped front teeth that prevent you from truly smiling. I was a mess. I can be sure that others have felt that way, as well – maybe you, the reader have also. Maybe you know someone who has. Maybe you know someone who has never shaken that feeling of rejection… and they carry it everywhere they go.

What do you do to fix this? Here are some suggestions – I’m certainly no expert, but you would be surprised how far a little push can get you.

Yeah... I helped. Not really.

1. Change your approach. From candor I have had with friends/colleagues, the way one approaches a potential love interest and the way one approaches a friend head in two completely and drastically different directions. Yet, it has also been said that a significant other should be comparable to a good/best friend. Get to know the person you are interested in, in a friendlier manner. Of course, beware the Friend Zone (future post) – make your intention clear – but do not ignore that which makes a person interesting/unique/friendly. People will date others that they would NEVER choose to interact with outside of that facet… “and then God made divorce”. Ick.
2. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. It has been said many times before, in many facets – but it works out quite well. I do not suggest carry rejection with you on your back, as you interact with another, but do know that not all things end amicably. That guy you like – as pretty as that mo’fo might be – may open his mouth and all types of bullshit come out. Ol’ girl that you spoke to online might “Catfish” the shit outta you upon your blind date arrival. Even situations with established dating may not go well because of a hidden quirk or a quip that just cannot be amended. Things may work out – don’t give up easily, but:
3. Do not force the issue. A good friend of mine reminded me “don’t fall in love with potential”. Unless you want that relationship where “the sex is good, but the conversation is drab” or “they look great, but can’t complete a sentence” or “as interesting a person they are, I cannot get past this”. The gold may be at the end of that rainbow – but a rainbow does not actually have an end… how far are you willing to subject yourself to an unseen end? “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
4. Keep an open mind. When someone approaches you, your mind makes a million decisions within the minute. He’s cute. Outfit not that great. Look at his shoes! His hair is shaped up, though. Maybe it’s an off day. Nice smile. What’s that on his forehead? Gross. I like ‘em tall – he’s my height – eh. And that’s before he even says hello; imagine what you’re saying to yourself as he speaks. Guys do the same thing with the ladies – depending on their intention, conversation may not go too far or become too in depth. The point: you never know what will come out of those initial interactions. I have found great friends in “failed relationship attempts”. People are more than rings and flings.

There are a few of my suggestions. Biggest thing: every experience is unique – new and different from the last, until established. Put yourself out there and you never know what may come of it.

Besides – Cuffin’ Season is in full swing. If you don’t have that beau/belle/bae/bitty to lie up with – maybe you need to get those feet wet.

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"Diary of the Uncuffable" #1

Because I have some legit amazing friends and colleagues, I have received some crazy support for "The Resume", despite my sporadic writing nature. I appreciate it, wholly.

One of those supporters decided to give me the real life truth behind our favorite time of the year: Cuffin' Season. Today begins a series entitled (by our author): "Diary of the Uncuffable". Now, I don't believe this to be true for her, but hey... gotta catch their eye somehow.

Check out the story below - keep up with her and post your thoughts, reactions, suggestions below. Will she stay "uncuffable"? Let's find out.

"Closed mouths don't get fed." - A real nigga

7:12 am . Blue line metro

I descended the escalator while Bootsy Collins filled the empty space between my eyes. I rather be with you...yea. The melody woke me up from the ins and outs of sleep that I am accustomed to. Finishing a good morning text and a volume increase, I placed the Nexus in my pocket and glanced ahead of me. Just like the first page of a fairy tale, tailored pants and brown shoes, you stood there taking in the scenery. Which worked out for me, because I was taking in you. I studied your stature. Noticed that you were an inch shorter than me but still fine. Got damn. I decided to do what I know how to do best, observe. I moved to a inconspicuous spot out of your line of sight. Standing behind you, I watched you, how you moved, how you behaved. What your body language said to me. As the lights flashed from the metro's arrival I walked behind you to board the train. You must have felt my presence, because you stood to the side, extended your hand with a slight bow, and let me walk before you. Chivalry, check. I said thank you. My back was to you but I bit my lip. A man once previously unseen had affected me. I'm slipping. As I sat on the train , four rows away from you, I went back and forth from catching your gaze to staring at you unknowingly. You are a stranger who I want to become familiar with. I yearned for your familiarity.
Before I knew it, I had arrived at L’Enfant plaza metro. I got up to exit the train, but not before I took in one last look of you. Our eyes locked. But, like the punk that I am, I looked away quickly and exited. I would probably never see you again. Shit.

They say that we miss every opportunity that we don't take. What was interesting, is that I have been presented with so many more opportunities to say something. To speak, to ask for his number. He has parked next to me on numerous occasions. We often end up on the same train in the evening, walking in the same direction to our cars. I have said things to him in passing, and then when it comes down to it, I hop in my car and drive away. Each time, I kick myself for missing the opportunity. You could probably call me Liu Kang with how many kicks I'm passing out to myself from the chances I blew with him. Fatality
After being pumped up (and cussed out) by my friends, this past week I decided that I would finally go up to him and ask him for his number. It seemed like the stars would align just to put me in situations in which I was in close enough proximity to talk to him. Was God telling me something? Was the universe giving me a message?
Or was this some kind of cruel joke? The one week I decided I would say something to him if I was put in one of these “interesting” positions again, I DON'T SEE HIM ONCE. NOT ONE TIME! ONE! UNO! ICHI! UN!

W.
T.
F.

-___- . Well, there is always Monday.

- Latte

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Cuffin' Season - PATisDOPE Style

FIRST of all: apologies for the long... and I mean LONG drought of posts. See, what had happened was: 
Yeah, nothing happened. Well, something happened - that's for a future post, though. I do promise that these next few weeks and the future of "The Resume" will be forthcoming and delightful!

Alas, time for the important stuff.


I know a guy. His name Pat. I been told he's dope. Fortunately, I have been able to take note of what he does and his dope has been documented by many. He consolidates said dope at PATisDOPE dot com. Most of his dope consists of reviews, previews, interviews... and page views. I ain't mad.

So the man Pat has put together a video on one of my favorite subjects: Cuffin' Season. I have not spoken much on it b/c:

1. This "grad school" stuff surprisingly difficult.
2. I have not too much experience at the season of the cuff.
3. Belief exists that there is no better way to examine the season than through the eyes of others.

All that said, I present to you: PATisDOPE Presents: Cuffin' Season Vol. 2. His [hilarious, if you ask me] take on the concept and... yeah. You just gotta watch it.

If you are wondering, he's done this before. Take a gander.

What's your take on the idea of "Cuffin' Season"? Tell us below. I look forward to sharing other sentiments regarding the season from the eyes of guest bloggers throughout December.

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